I'm not great at responding to comments. I'm surprised, yet pleased that you like reading my blog. I often feel like I wish I could be a fly on someone's wall just to see what goes on in their life and if it's really as easy as they make it look.
Do they lose their cool from time to time?
Do they leave dirty dishes in the sink and have laundry piled high?
Do their toilets ever get that nasty brown ring in them before they get cleaned?
I guess this blog, in addition to documenting SOME of the insanity that occurs from time to time in our house for the kids to reflect back on one day, is also to invite you to be a fly on my wall...
Another little bit of advice I gleaned from the book Slow Burn (by Stu Mittleman) is that when you're training for a marathon (not that I ever see myself actually running more than 6 miles in a row, ever) is to think of it as running 1 mile 26 times, not running 26 miles. Breaking it down into those smaller segments makes it feel more manageable.
I think that parenting must be the same. It's so easy to get caught up in thinking, when the kids are in school... fill in the blank-
my house will be clean,
my laundry will be caught up,
I'll read a book during daylight hours,
I'll run leisurely errands,
I'll go for a nice walk in a pretty neighborhood and enjoy looking at everything around.
But it's so scary to think of not having all those little mess-makers running around underfoot. Planning every bit of time around their needs.
I have to consciously remind myself to stop and enjoy the impromptu hugs and kisses, the demands to be picked up and held, the persistent tugging to get my undivided attention (which can be pretty tough when there are 3 siblings to contend with and a fairly long "to-do" list).
My first 9 years of parenting have zipped by in the blink of an eye! Now I'm learning how to not get my blood pressure up when my oldest is full of angst and practicing being dramatic, "Carrie (I'm making up friends' names here) and I are over. We had a fight today. We aren't friends anymore." I try to remember what little girl relationships are like and direct her toward healthy perspectives (and relationships). I also try not to overreact or try to fix everything. I want her to feel comfortable sharing her troubles with me. So far it's working, I think...
I know my days are limited of Carl calling his dad "Da Da." (Like this morning when he called Mark at the fire station- on their station line at 6:30AM, asked for "Mark" and when Mark answered he said, "Hi DaDa. Mama bought me batting gloves." Granted it was the middle of a 48 hour shift and he was really wanting to tell his big news to his dad. But 6:30am is awfully early. Thankfully they were awake:)
It feels like I waited forever for him to talk (he only had a few words just before he turned 3), I'm not ready for him to stop saying things like a little boy. I also dread the day he doesn't want to cuddle. He loves to rest his ear against my chest and there's no sweeter feeling that snuggling someone who's so content in your arms.
Even though Charlie's an independent soul, he still needs our approval. I hope he'll always seek it. I have a feeling he's going to go on many many adventures in his lifetime. I hope they're all fantastic and benefit him in all ways possible. He's so curious, I know he's going to follow that curiosity. But he also needs a lot of reassurance. I love that. I love that he explores but looks back (after a while) to know that he's doing the right thing. And when he's not he's devastated and quick to apologize.
And Elsa. I wonder who she'll grow into. She's so influenced by her big brothers. She's constantly in their dresser, pulling out their clothes to wear. She has so many adorable outfits, but it's her brothers' clothes that appeal the most. She spends the most time with them. Yet, tonight she and Sarina were snuggled in Sarina's bed looking at each other, giggling. It was the sweetest sister moment I think I've seen. Elsa looks so much like Sarina did. And she has such strong opinions, just like Sarina always has. She's spunky and so much fun to watch.
While it often feels like I'm on a merry-go-round that's never going to stop and I regularly long for a clean, tidy house and a little reliability to my day, I know that I'm one lucky mama. It's not easy meeting the needs of so many strong willed little people, but I wouldn't want to do anything else. I worry that I'll feel lost when the dust settles and I'm not constantly being tugged on. I wonder what it will be like to have a calm predictable day. It's only taken me 9 years to learn how to let go enough to not have to put EVERY ITEM IN ITS PLACE at the end of the day. Some nights I even don't unload the dishwasher before I go to bed (that's rare but it's happened a few times) some nights I even concede and don't do bathtime before bed so they can have a little more fun a little longer. It's taken a long time to relax the little bit that I have.
Parenting kids must be like a marathon. One mile at a time/one packed lunch at a time/one time-out at a time/one snuggle at a time.
And for the record: I'm looking forward to my fire stopping husband to come home for more than just 24 hours at a time. It's been a long 2 weeks! I miss him and the silliness he shares with the kids and the affection he gives me. Our family is so much more fun when he's home.
I know that I'm one lucky girl. I try not to take it for granted.
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