Mother's Day Week

It was a whole mother's day week.

A tea in Elsa's class.

Here we are, me with my buck teeth her and her sweet little grin...

This is Elsa and her posse- Wyatt, Logan and Henry.

This is after the festivities.  Apparently she had to blow off some steam and climb a tree after behaving, wearing a skirt, and singing sweet mother's day songs.

Then there was a tea in Charlie's class.

He's stringing the beads to make me a sweet little necklace with his school picture as a pendent.

Trying to catch him to get a picture together was like trying to catch a fish with my bare hands.  But I triumphed.

And there's my little giant, hands in his pockets ready to sing but NOT do the motions.  He really reminds me of my dad here.

Then Saturday we had a fantastically extravagant dinner for many of us at Anthony's.


I'll bet if you asked Carl what his highlight was of dinner at Anthony's he'd tell you that it was when his little brother went to the men's room and slipped in a puddle of pee.


Yum.

We so rarely take our kids out to eat (I believe I've posted the ridiculous waste of Happy Teriyaki one day when I brought it home for dinner).  It's part fear of poor behavior, part knowing that what is spent on a meal in a restaurant could likely pay for a weeks worth of groceries...

But they ate every last bite.  And I do sooooo love a night when I don't have to cook or clean up.

It's delightful.

In fact, my mother's day wish is usually a simple list.  I just don't want to have to cook or clean.  This year another thing popped up that I hoped to add to that list.  I didn't want to have to tell my kids "no".

Well, I didn't get very far on any of those items.

Mark had to work on mother's day.

He sweetly made my morning coffee before he left.

Then I planted the 5 remaining boxwood plants in our new hedge off the back porch.  I'm trying to streamline our landscaping.  I'm beginning to realize the brilliancy of minimalist landscaping.  Yes, I'm a slow slow learner.  And I always have to learn the hard way.

Then I vacuumed, put away all the little things that have crept out of their rightful places, and rounded up the kids to pick up my mom and go to the farmer's market for lunch.

It was packed down there but we managed to get yakisoba noodles for Sarina, fried corn dogs and root beer for the kids (disgusting!), and crab sandwiches for my mom and me (yum!).

It was really hot, so we let the kids play long enough for them to begin to melt, before we wove our way back to the market for balloon animals, then we picked up nutty buddies and let them run through the sprinkler at my mom's in their undies (rinsing her windows as they played).

While we were at it, we hit the Taco Truck for dinner (along my lines of no cooking or cleaning up).

Did I mention that I let them eat cold pizza for breakfast?

Or that they had 2 nutty buddies today?  (That was part of my avoiding saying "no").

I think my favorite part of the day was watching them eat those nutty buddies.  Melty ice cream running down their little hands, chocolate smeared all over their faces.  They were content.  Which made me content.  On a beautiful day with my babies and my mom.  I couldn't ask for a whole lot more (except maybe Mark home too).

But back to the not having to say "no".

I don't get it, but the boys were crazy over this crazy Time magazine cover.  You'd think they'd never heard of the concept.  I breastfed every one of those little buggers (all for a whole year- except Charlie who was done at 9 months after one night without me, when Sarina had her eye surgery.  I think that's the same time Carl was potty trained it was an eventful 24 hours...)

Carl kept asking me if he could try it one last time.

Really?!

Somehow that led to talking about french kissing.  He realized he knows what that is, thanks to the (actually pretty funny) movie The Rainbow Tribe.  It's full of all kinds of inappropriate stuff.

Then he asked me if he could french kiss me!

So sorry buddy, but that would REALLY mess you up in the long run.

In my sad tale, you see that I did have to say "no" today.

Quite a bit.

"No" to the sunglasses requested at dawn this morning by Mr. Carl.

"No" to the super awesome stuffed lizards, snakes, frogs, and dragons at the wooden boat fair for Charlie.

A big "no" (!) to breast feeding my BIG boys.

And definitely "NO" (!!!!!) to the french kiss.

Maybe next year I can have my wish of no cooking, cleaning, and saying "no" because that didn't really happen today.

But it was a beautiful, 84 degree day in an amazingly beautiful place.

I saw this today on pinterest.com and loved it.

I'll admit, I did have to work on it a few times today (darn having to say "no" to sweet little faces) but I triumphed.

Today was a good day.

Hum of Insecurity

I know we all have a little bit of it.

Even those of us who seem to have all the self confidence in the world.

It's that little hum of insecurity.

Sometimes it's a mellow hum in the background.

Sometimes it roars deafeningly.

Maybe we all think we're too insecure.

I know I'm the first to list my faults over my attributes.

It's far easier list what I need to work on than what I contribute.

Why is that?

Why do we sit there in the quiet hours and re-live the stupid things we've said?  Or things we should have done differently?

Why is it more comfortable to stay at home than go to a party and make small talk?

I think, that for me, it's because I'm always comparing myself to others.

One of my weaknesses is pinterest.com.  

I find some wonderful things on there.  

Sometimes, I go back and re-read the quotes board I've started.

One that caught my attention is this pin:

I love that.

And while I'm at it, this one rings true too:

It sure is.

How many times to you leave the house feeling like you're pulled together- then you notice someone's better dressed, thinner, driving a better car, whose children are better behaved, fill in the blanks here... and you feel defeated?

Because you're comparing yourself to them.  

To their public selves.  

I'm going to make a better effort to model more positive self awareness.  For my girls.

I want them to learn how to appreciate themselves for who they are without unnecessarily questioning every little move they make.

Yes, self reflection is good, in moderation.  

My wish for my girls is that they feel good about themselves in any scenario.

That they can list their attributes before their faults.

That they have to stop and concentrate to come up with a fault to list (without being conceited- of course).

I know that in life there will always be comparisons.

I remember having friends that seemed like they always had more than me.

And I see it starting with Sarina.

The challenge is helping her to realize that what she has is also pretty wonderful, it just might not be in the way she wishes now.

And sweet Elsa, while I joke about trying to make her girly, I relish that she's such a strong individual.

I think my girls will go far in life and their confidence will carry them to great things.

I need to make sure I model gentleness with myself.

That I learn to list my attributes.

I may start it here, end a blog with one here and there, just for practice.

So, it's not because I'm conceited.  I'm telling myself to help me to believe these things about me.

Ok?

I wonder which font size is invisible, that's the one I'll use at the bottom of the blog (not that I wouldn't shout this one from the mountain tops- humble is tough to overcome sometimes)...

Attribute #1 My family and friends are the most important things in the world to me.

Bah Bah Black Sheep

Another busy morning.

Mark is at work and I'm trying to re-capture my game after vacation.  Minutes cannot be spared the way our mornings go- so little time for monkey business.

I was upstairs getting ready after my shower and Miss Elsa was motoring around me like a little jet ski someone hopped off, how it goes round and round making noise when left unattended but still running.

Somehow I noticed that she was humming- how that sweet little sound penetrated the "to-do" list zipping around inside my head, I have no idea.

But I heard her and actually basked in the sweetness of hearing her sound like a real, honest-to-goodness pre-schooler.

She hummed the tune of Bah Bah Black Sheep, throwing in a word here and there.

I was surprised because

a) the little girl never gets to hear nursery rhymes- she hears all the latest hits thanks to her big sister and

b) the only kid in our house who sings much is Sarina.

Then she ended it with a nice hum and,

brace yourself...

an emphatic

"yeah sucker!"

Oh.

There's my sassy pants 3 year old.

Funny that I thought she might sing a nursery rhyme.

Ok.

She did, but she twisted it to suit her.

And that it did.

Here she is showing grandma how big she is in the jammies grandma bought her.

Yes they're too small.

And yes, those are dresses hanging on her wall which she hates.  She wants a big girl room not a "baby" room anymore.

I think I need to find a big picture of a graphic vespa or bicycle or maybe Harley for her room.

More about kindergarten round up

Charlie just came in and said, "It's a beautiful day for Kindergarten Round Up."

With his big beautiful eyes and a hopeful look.

Ouch.

Sending an email to make a special date asap...

Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

Wow.  A lot can happen in just 6 days.

I met up with Mark for a blissful 6 day vacation in Palm Desert.

It was our first trip together without kids in over 10 years (that was longer than 2 nights).  Our honeymoon was cancelled because we were scheduled to fly to Mexico September 12, 2001 and there were no flights that day because of 9/11 and we never re-scheduled.  We finished our basement instead.  Practical but not so fun.

This trip was wonnnnddddeeeerrrrfulllllllll!

We laid in the sun.

Frankly I was worried that I couldn't sit still in the heat for that long now that I'm no longer a teenage and have a million things to do.

But it was so nice.

We drank cocktails whenever we felt like it.

We drank coffee at Starbucks watching the people around us.

We bar-b-qued chicken and steak and made fantastic salads.

Then went out when we felt like it- Los Consuelos, Red somebody's, California Pizza Kitchen.

We drove to Huntington (and Laguna) Beach with friends.

We slept undisturbed (except I was well awake before 7am every morning).

We had no chores.

It was so restorative.

And our kids were more than well cared for.

We had a whole, wonderful village pitching in to help.

It was tricky overcoming the guilt, at first.

The first night poor Sarina was so frantically upset she kept calling, sobbing to the point that I couldn't understand her.  I don't think she likes when we're gone because she feels responsible for the kids.  She internalizes things until her stomach is cramped and she takes tiny little breaths of air.

I think she'll be a person prone to panic attacks when she's older.  I'm trying to give her tools to ease herself back from that anxiety she tends to get.

But I knew that my good friend was taking better than excellent care of her.

And she settled herself by crawling into bed with her baby sister and washing her hair with my shampoo.

Sweet, anxious little girl.

Then there was the play.

Every year Griffin puts on a fantastic, professional level play.  And this was the first year Sarina could participate.  Of course we booked the trip before we knew the play performance schedule, so we missed every single one.

Here's where the village stepped in.

She had both grandmas, a grandpa, aunt, uncle, and cousins, friends, her babysitter, even her great-uncle's ex-wife (who we keep as family) all attending performances, bringing flowers and candy.  This village dressed her, covered her in make-up, and transported her to and from the performances and I know they cheered nice and loudly for her.

At the end, the director said some wonderful things about my baby girl that A-Mandy was sweet enough to record and post on facebook for us to hear.

Then there were the lost teeth.

First Charlie lost tooth number 2 (unassisted).  He's down to one front tooth left...

Then Carl lost one.  I didn't get a picture of that one.

Boy was the toothfairy was one busy lady out Oyster Bay Road!

Carl pitched his first game of the season and we hear he struck out two kids on the other team.

Elsa was her busy, quirky, wonderful little self.

Rumor has it she let Kristi braid her hair and paint her toe nails.  Woo hoo!  Rumor also has it she had TWO ponies in when she went from Kristi's to Nonna.  Miracle of miracles!

I'll admit, re-entry was a little tough.  The grass was long and we had a short window to get it mowed before the rains hit.  So that had to be done.

Sarina was working on fractions which were as painful for her as they were for me.

The rain is dumping.

The kids had lots of fun late nights that need to be made up for.

Elsa had bad dreams that kept her crying out and thrashing about in bed.  Nothing I said or did could make her come out of it so I had to let her work it out on her own.

But we're back together again, and it feels good.  

So incredibly good.  

I missed those little buggers, but sure needed that break.

But it's tough to be an adult and make decisions like the one I had to make for today.

I had a public hearing scheduled for tonight.  One that requires public notice and will actually need my area of expertise.

Trouble is, tonight is the one and only night of the Kindergarten Round Up.  Usually Griffin has two nights.  Just my luck, not this year.

Sweet baby Charlie isn't going to get to go tonight.  

But I'm going to make an appointment to take him in to meet his teacher and see his classroom.

I'm also going to see if I can finagle a bus ride before school's out for the "big" kids.

I may be letting him down on the official event but I'm going to create my own, gosh darn it!  Poor baby number 3 won't be skimped on.  Not when I'm on guard.

Special thanks for that amazingly relaxing trip go to: Arel for offering to keep the kids (we NEVER would have booked that trip without her not so subtle nudge), A-Mandy for keeping the two big kids 2 nights (including the 3 plays and a baseball game, one SUPER wiggly tooth, and a nervous wreck/anxious little girl who jumped ship), Kristi for keeping the two little kids 2 nights including a baseball practice and game and LOST tooth(!), Nonna and Grandpa for keeping 4 very busy children in their own home for 4 days and 3 nights, and Grandma Chica for many, many errands, transportation of kids and dogs, and lots of support- always.

Want our yummy Palm Desert/CondoLane Salad recipe?

1 bunch red bib lettuce

1 cucumber

3 hard boiled eggs

1 avocado

4 mini-bell peppers

sprinkling of Mediterranean feta cheese crumbles

1 1/2 grilled chicken breast (rubbed with olive oil, garlic, salt & pepper)

grilled asparagus (also rubbed with olive oil, garlic, salt and pepper)

dress with:

1/2 lemon

garlic salt

fresh ground pepper

drizzle of first cold pressed extra virgin olive oil

I didn't get tired of it.  It was so good!

And my favorite cocktail was Tommy Bahama's Coconut Martini, so incredibly GOOD!