Hum of Insecurity

I know we all have a little bit of it.

Even those of us who seem to have all the self confidence in the world.

It's that little hum of insecurity.

Sometimes it's a mellow hum in the background.

Sometimes it roars deafeningly.

Maybe we all think we're too insecure.

I know I'm the first to list my faults over my attributes.

It's far easier list what I need to work on than what I contribute.

Why is that?

Why do we sit there in the quiet hours and re-live the stupid things we've said?  Or things we should have done differently?

Why is it more comfortable to stay at home than go to a party and make small talk?

I think, that for me, it's because I'm always comparing myself to others.

One of my weaknesses is pinterest.com.  

I find some wonderful things on there.  

Sometimes, I go back and re-read the quotes board I've started.

One that caught my attention is this pin:

I love that.

And while I'm at it, this one rings true too:

It sure is.

How many times to you leave the house feeling like you're pulled together- then you notice someone's better dressed, thinner, driving a better car, whose children are better behaved, fill in the blanks here... and you feel defeated?

Because you're comparing yourself to them.  

To their public selves.  

I'm going to make a better effort to model more positive self awareness.  For my girls.

I want them to learn how to appreciate themselves for who they are without unnecessarily questioning every little move they make.

Yes, self reflection is good, in moderation.  

My wish for my girls is that they feel good about themselves in any scenario.

That they can list their attributes before their faults.

That they have to stop and concentrate to come up with a fault to list (without being conceited- of course).

I know that in life there will always be comparisons.

I remember having friends that seemed like they always had more than me.

And I see it starting with Sarina.

The challenge is helping her to realize that what she has is also pretty wonderful, it just might not be in the way she wishes now.

And sweet Elsa, while I joke about trying to make her girly, I relish that she's such a strong individual.

I think my girls will go far in life and their confidence will carry them to great things.

I need to make sure I model gentleness with myself.

That I learn to list my attributes.

I may start it here, end a blog with one here and there, just for practice.

So, it's not because I'm conceited.  I'm telling myself to help me to believe these things about me.

Ok?

I wonder which font size is invisible, that's the one I'll use at the bottom of the blog (not that I wouldn't shout this one from the mountain tops- humble is tough to overcome sometimes)...

Attribute #1 My family and friends are the most important things in the world to me.