Today I was alarmed to look up and see Carl sobbing as he walked down the driveway after getting off the school bus.
You know when they cry so hard they can't tell you what's wrong, so your mind races to the worst possible scenario?
Which, to him- it was.
I believe he thought he was going to die.
And for my kids I think that the concept isn't far fetched.
They can all recount the summer we lost our sweet little friend.
It has made them realize that kids can go to heaven too.
They know about mortality.
And it's such a tough thing to talk them through.
So, on the way home today- while on the school bus, Carl sat with a boy from his football team.
The kid was going on about pressure points and demonstrating on Carl.
He rubbed a muscle on Carl's back then stopped and said (according to Carl with a very serious look on his face),
"Oh I forgot, if I do that it means you'll die in 3 days."
Carl said he started crying on the bus.
He was that scared.
He believed it.
In his mind, the poor little boy thought he was dead man walking as he climbed down from the school bus.
I can only imagine what was going on in his head as he was trying to figure it all out.
How it would happen.
He was terrified.
I assured him it was all b.s. (not saying that, of course) but that it would never happen.
I don't think he completely bought it,
because at bed time he asked again if I was sure he wasn't going to die.
I explained that when I get massages my friend Michelle rubs my back like that and I'm ok.
I know that the boy who pulled that trick didn't know Carl well enough to know what he's seen in his life, so far.
I know Carl's haunted by images of his parents sobbing without restraint in front of him.
And the kid has two teenage brothers who've likely scared the shit out of him time and time again so he's immune to that level of terror.
It's a life lesson.
But it's a tough one for both mama and sweet boy.
I hope I don't see any more babies sobbing their way off the school bus again anytime soon.
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