I see it's a trend, now that I've had two who tried this trick.
I was horrified when Sarina pulled it in first grade.
Keep in mind that at that point I had a baby who was less than year old, a 2 year old, 4 year old and 6 year old- more than enough to keep me busy.
Then sweet first grader Sarina spouts off that I'm pregnant again.
With twins.
I'm not sure what's worse.
That people believed it,
or that she told it.
Because at that point (even now) I'm 99.9% sure I'd run screaming and tearing my hair out if I found out I was pregnant with twins.
Or even pregnant!
We found out when Mark got a call from someone he works with, who's kids went to Griffin and had come home saying, "Did you hear the Schreck's are having twins?!"
Aye ca rumba!
The year before, Sarina had met a girl who told her that she was born a monkey, her monkey mama and monkey daddy died so she was adopted by people and was turned into a person.
Sweet little kindergartner Sarina believed it!
To this day I call her friend Monkey Girl.
The latest in this tall tale series is my sweet little Carl.
Ha.
On Monday (June 4th) he told his teacher,
with a straight face,
without batting an eye,
that we adopted a little boy the previous Saturday (June 2nd).
The boy is three.
He is shy because he doesn't know us yet.
And that his name is Barney.
Seriously?!
So much detail!
And the poor teacher had to double check to see if that was true.
She checked with an aide that works in Carl's class (and whose son is on Carl's baseball team). Thankfully she informed the teacher that she saw us on said Saturday and NO we did not adopt.
Then the teacher had to call to share that fantastic story with us.
It's bad enough that on the questionnaire about mothers (for mother's day) Carl painted a fantastic picture of me.
See for yourself.
How the heck he thinks that could possibly be true is beyond me.
"My mom likes to..."
his answer "sleep"
just below is, "My mom doesn't like to..."
his answer "wake up early.
Gee.
Thanks buddy.
Doesn't look like I'll win mom of the year, thanks to those ringing endorsements.
But that's not all.
No sirree.
He was on a roll!
He also wrote me a very nice poem.
line two of the poem takes it to the next level,
"relaxing on the couch."
Of course he thinks I'm happy, I just might be if I slept all day and relaxed on the couch.
That mom of Carl's is some piece of work.
Sleeping, laying around all day.
In my dreams!
It's a wonder he gets himself to school each day
wearing clean clothes
with a homemade lunch (because heaven forbid he has to eat something that is slimy, with cheese, or mayo, or chocolate, or butter)...
His teacher must think I'm awesome.
Especially since I haven't had a chance to help in his class one time
because I haven't had a single day to myself to do such an activity.
I hope to God that Elsa or Charlie have her and I can volunteer so that I can redeem myself and she can see that I'm not as lazy as he made me look.
The cherry on the top of the Mother's Day love was Elsa's estimation of my age.
I'm 100 years old!
All the other kids moms are 3, or 4, one was even 13.
Not me.
I blew them all out of the water.
No wonder I sleep the day away.
Maybe that's why one of her classmate's moms thought I might have taught her younger sister 2nd grade.
Ouch.
Do I really look old enough to have taught my child's peer's mom's little sister in elementary school?!
Kick a girl when she's down.
100 years old.
Likes to sleep.
Doesn't like to wake up.
Relaxes on the couch.
Procreating like mad
then adopting when done procreating (probably to get the welfare checks).
The good news is that I get to look forward to the T A L L tales from the next two.
Maybe they'll add drinking to the list of virtues...
Now, where's that bottle opener...
Oh come on.
I'm kidding!
If you do see me start drinking regularly watch out.
It'll mean I've given up hope.
Now where did I put my dentures when I laid down on the couch to take a nap?
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