Reminder to myself for when all the kids are in school

I think I've said it before

but I'll say it again,

I'm not wishing my babies childhood away.

This littlest one was just perfecting her flips and working toward her penny drops.

In a crazy way I enjoy the satisfaction of traveling around with my own circus.

I kind of like it when strangers ask if they're all mine.

I even enjoy rolling my eyes at the, "Boy you have your hands full!" comment.

When I'm off on my own it feels... empty.

Not nearly as satisfying as when I have to be 100 percent at attention, watching for cars in the parking lot, constantly reminding little ones to keep up, and stay close, "hands on the cart, please".

I know it's way easier to run errands solo.

That's why I often pack a days worth of errands into preschool hours or the few hours when I'm supposed to be working.

I've seen women out there aimless, the day-time empty nesters.

It's true, I'll say it- I envy them from time to time.  But I also see how lost they can look when they have some down time (while I glamorize their freedom in my head).

For this reason, I want to list all the things I fantasize about doing when they are all out of my hair.  Translation, the things I pretend I get to do when the noise level is ridiculous with the "he did this"s and the "she did that"s.

When I'm feeling lost and lonely- trying to find my way as an individual once again, after having little people invading my every tiny molecule of space for 12 years (that's how old Sarina will be when Elsa's in 1st grade).

I will go for runs.

I will clean the house (really clean- not just vacuum and tidy and wipe down the bathroom with Clorox wipes- maybe even scrub the floors).

I will work a complete day and keep up on the business side of having my own business (paperwork).

I will work in the yard.

I will clean out closets.

I will keep on top of doctor appointments for the family (and critters).

I will learn to paint portraits.

I will take a figure art class.

I will peruse antique shops.

And last, but certainly not least, I will enjoy the company of my husband during daylight hours.

I wonder if I'll ever actually do any of the things listed above.  I suppose only time will tell.

There's so much out in that wide wide world.

I hope I don't get engulfed in loneliness and wishes for days past.

I hope that I embrace my new self enriched by the little people that we made from scratch, and the complexities they've added to my life.