Never Under the Radar

I always feel like when I'm out with the kids it's swirling chaos.

Yes, Mark's presence alone makes it WAY better.  The 1:2 ratio is so much more manageable than 1:4.

For some reason, the most memorable events (not memorable in a flattering way) happen when he's at work.

Here's an example...

Today I took the three youngest to REI hoping to find a pair of clearance crocs for each of the boys.  For some reason I recalled seeing a huge wall of crocs earlier in the summer and harbored hopes...

We manage to get the the entrance pretty smoothly, the kids were excited to see the door handles.  Whatever it takes, they were focused on crossing the parking lot and getting to the entrance.  That's a score in my book.

The second we walk in the alarm goes off.  "Unchecked Merchandise!"  Or some equally mortifying announcement over the loudspeaker.

The sweet greeter girl asked if I had a key with built in buttons to lock and unlock the car.  For some fun reason that tends to set off the alarm.

Awesome.

We take a detour through the bikes to see the bike Carl REALLY wants and unbelievably manage NOT to knock over every bike in the place.  Phew, one hazard avoided.

Unfortunately, I didn't fight Elsa when she refused to pull her arms out of her shirt.  I really didn't see any harm in her walking around with her arms tucked tightly around her torso.

Can you see where this is going?

We manage to make it to the top 4 steps on the way to the second floor (where the genius planners put the children's stuff) when Elsa stumbled and fell forward.

Of course, her arms were pinned to her sides- so she couldn't catch herself, and fell full force onto her little lip and front teeth.

Awesome.

She's screaming bloody murder. 

I'm trying to get the boys to keep up and glance up to see a grumpy older REI woman without an ounce of smile pointing to ask if Charlie's mine.  He's climbing the stairs up the stringer holding on to the handrail.  She seemed to back off when I said yes while holding the screaming 3 year old. 

Then I really look at Elsa and see her whole chin covered in blood. 

Darn lip wounds bleed A LOT. 

Mrs. Grumpy-pants was nice enough to run grab me paper towels- at my request- (because REI has hand dryers not paper towels- which I get, but wasn't the most convenient...).  Again Mrs. Grumpy-pants was without a trace of warmth.

I make it to the bathroom to try and spare the shoppers all the hooting and hollering.

Again with the, "Unchecked Merchandise!" because- of course,the key is still in my purse.

I ignore it and try to get her calmed down, which- of course, she's staring at herself in the mirror and makes her more freaked out.

So I think "f#*% it."  I came here for a reason!  And head out to see if they have any crocs left, darn it!

Elsa's still screaming. 

Charlie's pulling out shoes left and right. 

No crocs.

But they did have the hiking boots Carl's been pining for since he saw his first episode of Dino Dan.  I think the only reason he put up with Charlie's request for that dinosaur kids show was to stare at those boots and dream of owning a pair himself one day.

So, he and Charlie scored a pair of hiking boots (on clearance- yay!).

Elsa was still whimpering in my arms while we carry everything very, very carefully down the stairs to pay.

And our farewell was the clearly announced, "Unchecked Merchandise!"

It sounded more like an "Off With You!" than anything.

Fine.  Good bye cruel store.

Just a small illustration of how we are NEVER, EVER flying under the radar.  We make our entrance hooting and hollering in one way or another.

Look out, here comes that family...

Cross your fingers that Elsa isn't child #2 needing her front tooth wiggled out prematurely, due to traumatic injury...