Update during a pandemic

I know it’s been an eternity since I wrote here.  I’ll admit, I stopped when the kids hid from my camera and questioned if it was going on my blog.  I didn’t want them to censor their lives because I wrote about all the insanity in our house on a blog.  My intention was solely to capture those moments I knew would turn fuzzy in my memory before too long.  I wanted to remember the glorious and not so glorious detail of our daily lives with four kids six years apart in age.  I knew the time raising them was crazy and special and I wanted to give myself a way to relive it when they were older and our days had a more predictable rhythm.

And now for today.

March 9th just might be the last typical day for our family.  We were scrambling to get everyone where they were scheduled to be.  Carl had his end of season banquet for basketball.  It was a bittersweet celebration of a sweet team filled with seniors I’ll certainly miss in the stands.  Mark was on shift, but able to get a couple hours off to attend the banquet.  I’m not certain where the others were, but they were taken care of.

Tuesday March 10th inklings of caution were coming for our community.

March 11th the governor banned gatherings of over 250 people in King Pierce and Snohomish counties.  We knew we weren’t far off as we’re just one county south of Pierce.  Sporting events essentially halted, dances cancelled, field trips cancelled, school project open houses, band concerts, for junior National honors society cancelled.  

Our school districts followed the governor’s directive for King, Pierce, and Snohomish counties.  All the events I was trying to make happen and a parent attending became a non-issue.  No Basketball practice.  No end of season cheer banquet. No Egypt project open house.  No basketball tournaments.  No junior national honor society induction ceremony.  No Tolo dance.  No Wyldelife.

At first it felt frightening, yet liberating to cancel all these things.

On March 12th I went for a glorious run with my friend.  5.75 miles, my longest run in years.  It was sunny, blue skies.  I took photos of a favorite spot to pause and catch my breath.  We saw an owl fly in front of us and nestle into the woods.  Two deer casually loping across the street. There really couldn’t be something so big, so ugly headed toward us.  Could there?

Yet after our run I went to the store and stocked up a bit.  Bought ingredients to try making homemade Pho.  And two boxes of fruit snacks (I didn’t want to be the jerk to buy everything).

There were people in Costco wearing masks.  When I saw them I looked away from what I perceived as fear and shame in their eyes.  I worked to tamp down the feeling of panic seeing that made me feel.  I tried to act normal.

When I studied abroad in Milan junior year of college I had the most incredible Italian roommate, a Milanese native who I still talk with.  Her warnings were dire.  Her kids had been out of school since February 23rd.  

“ Hi Jen, I am so happy to have your phone. Is this your mobile? We all are fine, at the moment. Kids have been at home since feb 23. At the beg. grand parents took care of them but now I told them not to come. It's dangerous. shops/malls/cafe' etc everything is closed. Peopke shoud not move from home except for work. Hospitals full. In the company we're trying to have limit access in order to reduce contacts but difficult.  I hope the situation will improve soon. incredible situation. do not underestimate coronavirus. keep u informed.”

Then Friday (the 13th AND a full moon) we receive notice that school will be cancelled for six weeks.  The kids were over-the-moon excited.  Imagining lots of sleepovers with friends, hanging out in groups, shooting hoops, going to Madre’s, making Tik Toks together,  or whatever they do.

I was uncomfortable about it. 

After dropping the kids off at school I paused to take this photo.  

I asked my Italian friend for a little more detail, she shared this:

“ Hi Jen,  my family and friends have no problems at the moment but I know people who got sick.  Jen, at the beg they said it's is a problem for old people and underestimated coronavirus. it is not true it involves only old people. for sure C. is not a problem for kids, juniors and teens but they can be vehicules (with no symptoms/without knowing it) to so many people! that's why schools have been closed...  but the real problem here is that they did not closed malls, markets, pubs, discos etc where C could spread easily also afterwards.  people refused to change habits and kept meeting friends and going out, hugging, touching, shaking hands... a mess! this is the main cause in Italy. We underestimated because media kept saying it was just a flu, a problem only for old or weak people with complications so young ones did not care. now we have hospitals crowded and doctors work 24h who have to choose patients for intensive care units because they have no more free beds and police in the street because you can't move (only at work or grocery store).  Now we have to pray nobody of us gets C. I am sorry, jen, I don't want you to panic but pls make sure you reduce going to crowded places, often wash hands and 1,5 m far when you talk to people outside your family. You understand the importance of freedom and of social relations when you can't have them.”

I read somewhere that we should really be stocking up on items needed for a bad chest cold.  Out I went this time for Kleenex, NyQuil, a humidifier, tea, ingredients to make hand sanitizer.  

Saturday we’d planned a shopping trip with my mom, sister and our girls.  The goal was to find dresses for spring-graduations, Easter, etc.

We changed plans.  The shopping centers felt too risky to me, especially up north.  I asked if we try online instead.  That didn’t work too well.  Too many options.  Too weird/hard to choose.  So my mom suggested local.  Sweet life (one of Sarina’s favorite stores) and Spruce owned by a friend.  We bought cozy, comfy clothes.  Spring clothes, but not dresses for graduation.  We certainly supported local.

That evening I had plans to meet high school friends for dinner.  We’ve run the St Paddy’s dash for years.  This is the first year we didn’t.  My kids had basketball.  Another friend had big stuff going on in her life.  We made the tough choice to meet for dinner in Olympia instead of the yearly Saturday night out in Seattle and running around Seattle Center Sunday morning.

It was a somber dinner.  Just 4 sweet souls made it we missed the larger group, but it was nice to quietly connect with just 4.  Conversation was heavy.  Personal struggles and lots of love for each other.  I certainly felt an ominous feeling of uncertainty for the locally owned restaurant we were patronizing and all the employees.  

We marveled at what it means to have school cancelled for SIX weeks on the cusp of Spring.  

It was the first year I forgot to get a photo of us together.  Now I kind of wish I had one.  Not with camera ready smiles, but of us feeling all the emotions of the day.  We hugged at the end and ambled off. No elbow bumps yet.

Mark worked Sunday.  It’s a blur.

We had to tell our parents that we’re keeping our distance.  Because we love them and want them safe.  So hard to see my mom and not hug her, stand in her bubble of space.  But I can’t imagine how awful it would be to have her catch this mess.  The same with Mark’s parents.

We were gentle with schedules the first week of no school.  Sarina worked on her back tuck.  She wants it perfected for college cheer tryouts.  This is tougher without tumbling lessons.  Her partner stunting sessions cancelled before she could have her first one.

Carl continues to work on basketball skills.  Playing video games with his buddies.  Talking with his girlfriend.

Charlie was gifted a guitar.  He found an app that teaches guitar.  Helps tune it and lets him know when he’s played the correct notes.  He’s building endurance in his fingertips.  He’s working hard on it, content building a new skill.  We don’t know if or when he’ll get his meniscus repaired.  I hope it’s still repairable by the time he gets a chance to go in for surgery.

Elsa is finding her way.  Quietly and not so quietly entertaining herself and seeking us to entertain her: basketball, art, reading, FaceTiming friends, planning veggie starts.

I’ve helped Mark, run with Sarina, watched Carl plug away on skills, encouraged Charlie’s guitar, tried to keep up with some of Elsa’s many requests, I’ve even done a little typically neglected yard work.

The kids have played ping pong (on Charlie’s homemade ping pong set up) and pickle ball.  We’ve made homemade cinnamon rolls, we’ve started vegetable seeds (pumpkins too), we’re stocked up with knitting, painting, and drawing supplies (because I’ve been gathering those for ages in case we have time to craft), we have books galore.  And we have each other.  

And Wednesday May was spayed.  Her cone and keeping her quiet has occupied us a bit.

On Friday, a week after we learned of school closures, it was sunny and beautiful enough for Mark to take Charlie out in the boat to fly fish (he caught 6 fish- coho and cut throat).  The rest of us caught up with them and tooled around Squaxin and Hartstine Islands.  It was beautiful.  The mountains were out, seals eating fish, birds flying and singing.

I’m grateful for the security of Mark’s income.  I’m terrified for his exposures.

Our hospitals are pleading for donations of masks.  There are armed police at the entrances only allowing specific people to enter.  They are checking temperatures at the door.  I read that a man going in for major heart surgery had to kiss his wife at the door.  She couldn’t go in with him.

And we aren’t at crisis levels yet.  St Peter’s Hospital has 390 beds.  Capitol Medical Center has 107.  I hope and pray it’s enough for those who need it.  That our doctors and health care workers don’t have to choose who lives and who cannot receive treatment.  That they all stay healthy and strong.

Mark says he has enough personal protective equipment.  They aren’t covering each other’s stations for drills anymore.  

They check their own temperatures after each call.  

They’re learning as they go.

We are all learning as we go.

Praying for health and safety, love and grace.