loss

Today was a hard day.

It didn't help that it was gloomy weather.

But I suppose that matched the mood.

One year ago tomorrow a sweet little girl was suddenly taken from us.

I'll never, ever be the same.

And I'm not her mama.

I know I'm not the only one.

There are so many senses that will never be forgotten in the past year- a year without her.

I'll never, ever forget how small her mama's voice was when she told me how bad things were in the hospital.

I'll never, ever forget her daddy telling me she was gone.

And I'll never, ever forget the incredible wave of sadness that enveloped me and exposed my raw grief- unsensored, in front of my children.

I'll forever be able to close my eyes and watch her little sister walking in circles in the big swimming pool, lost without her big sister to play with.  Her big brother making up excuses to try and get his mama to come back to herself.  Her daddy handling every detail imaginable in an unimaginable circumstance.

I'll forever feel the void in our trips to Cannon Beach, the missing blond braids at the baseball games, the birthday parties. 

I know it's a part of life- circle of life and all.  I know that where she is is far, far better than anyplace I could dream of or imagine.

But it's hard to get over the emptiness.

For a long time I worried who would brush her perfect yellow hair?  Who would give her all the meat she wanted to eat?  Who would hold her hand?  Who would look into her beautiful, soulful, brown eyes and share a giggle over the silly (things the way she did with her mama, siblings, friends, and anyone else who was lucky to experience that)?  Who would show her all the fun things in life?  Who would watch her explore those fun things in life?  Who would read to her?  Who would snuggle her when she needed love?

I felt a hole in my heart bigger than earth.

Again, I'm not her mama.

I worried that her mama wouldn't get the sparkle back in her eyes.

I worried that her little sister wouldn't know how to explore life without her there to guide her.

That her big brother wouldn't have someone to play catch with.

That her daddy wouldn't have a bowling partner.

I've learned so much in this past year.

Her mama did get her sparkle back, and I know she had a big part of that.  She's worked hard to do it for her two other kids.  I think a lot of times it takes a conscious effort.  But the sparkle's there, thank God.

Her sister is dealing with the grief of losing her best friend as only a five year old can... but she's learned to zip around- her sassy little self.
Her brother is working through an enormous change in his family and his own grief, old enough to know exactly what's going on, yet he's doing awesome in all he undertakes and is growing into such a wonderful young man.
Her daddy has shared so much of himself through her, in such a beautiful way.

I wish I knew what do do for them.  I wish I could think of something, anything, to make things just a little easier, a little better for them.  I'm just at a loss.

We're preparing to go back to the place where I learned she was sick, so very sick, then gone- and I'm a little scared it'll be too much.  I'm not sure I'll be able to go back to the place I was when her daddy called.  But I'm trying to move on and dwell on the good things.

I don't allow myself to dwell on the questions and wonderings no one can answer.  I choose to believe that she is surrounded by more glory and beauty and love than we can ever imagine or dream of.  That she can't fathom the sadness of her absence.  That time to her, now, is milliseconds to our lifetimes.

I believe in heaven, in God, and that we'll get to see her before she knows it.  That she is happy, laughing, doing all the things she loves, and enjoying watching all of us down here trying to live a life a little better because of having known her. 

I've learned to allow my children to indulge in sweets, soda, and extravagances when I can.

I've learned to venture outside my gerbil circle and show my kids the wonders of the world we live in.

I've learned to cut loose more and experience life a little more fully.

I play a mean game of Charley bug.

I watch diligently for rainbows.

I try to think of others a little more.

I ran a half marathon and plan to run another.

I try to live a life she would approve of.

That little girl had such an impact on me and my family- and I know we are not alone.

I am far better for having known her- I know I'm not alone, and I believe that she is not alone.  She can feel our love.

I'm so grateful I got to experience a little life with Sweet Charley B.

laundry

Saturdays are so glamorous. 

Especially when Mark's at work.

Can you hear my sarcasm?

I really don't get it.  But there has to be a better way. 

I do at least a load of laundry at least every other day.  There's no slacking off for a week at a time for me.

Yet, this is the monster that I tackled and attempted to tame tonight...

 (The laundry room isn't complete yet- it's going to be pretty one day soon).

In case you wondered what laundry for a family of six might look like.

Really?

Is this necessary?!

Honestly, I was caught up on laundry TWO days ago!

And this doesn't include my laundry, which of course is MINIMAL.

Funny thing is, it's only going to get worse as the kids get bigger

and smellier.

Maybe it's time to train Sarina.  She's the first born.  She should be meticulous.  Plus she's an Aquarius and they're supposed to love order...

I talk big. 

It'll always be me.

I like things folded and sorted a certain way.

Just like I like the dishwasher loaded a certain way.

And the dishes put away just the right way.

Oh man.  I'm a control freak?

And I'm not a first born or an Aquarius.

I better get that cinnamon swirl bread out of the oven and get to bed.  It's just too much for me right now.

Since I'm jumping all over the place anyway, have I said that I LOVE my bread machine?  It makes the house smell so good, even if I can't eat it...

July 11th HcG is complete and I'm celebrating with a skinny girl margarita (or 3).

Enough.  I'm all over the place.

Time for bed.

Sogni D'Oro
(dream of gold in Italian- sounds so much nicer than sleep tight don't let the bedbugs bite- why would you want to think of bugs as you fall asleep?!  I'd much rather think of gold in a beautiful land ahh Italia...:)

Coolest Job

Ok.  I know no one likes a bragger.

But, for a minute I'm going to indulge myself...

I know my job is pretty cool.  I get to check out neat historic buildings and get paid for it.  I enjoy it.  But it's not everyone's cup of tea.

It's got nothing on my husband. 

My husband has the coolest job.

I know I tease him about hanging out at the fire station.  Eating and sleeping and sometimes goofing off. 

"Eat til your sleepy, sleep til you're hungry."

But I also realize that he deals with some nasty stuff.  Some things that would probably make me throw up without being able to sensor myself.  Some things that would give me nightmares.  And some that make me giggle when I think about them 10 years later.

I can't say enough how proud of him I am.

He set a goal to become a firefighter and was willing to do everything in his power to achieve it.

Just after he graduated from college his days were usually- ride his bike from Phinney or nearby to open the Seattle Greenlake Starbucks store in the mornings (4am) then ride his bike to the gym to work out, then ride  from his gym in Freemont to Lake City Way to work at The Boys and Girls Club until all the kids were picked up (around 6pm).

He did this for a year and it was grueling. 

He took every firefighter test he came across. 

He sat in the testing lab and memorized the questions so that he could zip out and instantly review his study materials to find out what he might have missed so he could study harder the next time around.

When our hometown tested it was so great that out of (I think it was) 850 people testing he made it to the final 4 who were hired. 

Can you imagine applying for a job and competing against 850 people?!

I often think of his job in abstract terms.  I don't really see much when we stop in to say hi.

But today he planned to "drill"- I explained to the kids that means practice and said he'd like to see us (really I think he meant the kids- but that's ok:)

So, we stopped by the drill pad (like that I know the lingo?) to see what was going on.

My kids are so lucky.

Not only do they get to sit in a fire engine everytime they see daddy at work, today they got to watch them squirt hoses.  And the word squirt does not do this process justice.

And if you're wondering, yes, those are pajama shorts Elsa is wearing.  I let her dress herself since she's been sporting a fever for 2 days now.  She was wearing a swimsuit cover up over this ensemble just before this picture.

Elsa really wants to operate this.  The boys are checking everything out.

Lucky girl really holds on like a real firefighter.

Another angle of the lucky girl.

The kids getting ready for daddy to do a trick with the spray.

Mr. Handsome there (even if he isn't in his Class B uniform-the bunkers are pretty nice too) getting ready to switch the spray so it fans out like an umbrella. 

Isn't he hunky?  I'm a lucky girl...

There's nothing more sexy than a man who genuinely enjoys his kids, the uniform is nice too.

And yes, I know that I'm down a child.  That lucky kiddo is on night 2 of a sleepover with one of the funnest moms around.  She got to do a 5k at the State Patrol Academy this morning and who knows what other super cool stuff she's done.  I think some of it involved swimming.  Lucky.

Ok, I'm done bragging.

And sorry ladies.  He's taken.

Can't believe I've known him for 25 years.

How did I get old enough for that?!

Teacher Gifts

I always have unrealistic expectations on what I want to accomplish. 

I dream of coming up with something really creative and unusual for every occasion.  Kind of like the kid in Christmas Story.

One of my favorite people always bakes pies for her kids teachers for Thanksgiving.  She does a million other super thoughtful things throughout the year too.

I find it amazing that she's able to get that done in addition to all her own cooking, baking, preparing for the holidays.  But she does and I am 100% certain those teachers really appreciate it.

I googled teacher gifts to see what I could come up with.  One cute idea was a s'mores package (http://oursemihomemadelife.blogspot.com/2009/06/semi-homemade-teacher-gifts.html) it's a cute idea.  And I almost went with it, but knew I'd want to take it further...

Then I was at target the other day and saw these adorable plastic popcorn tubs for $2.  And we all know I have the best caramel corn recipe courtesy of Laney Dineen, my post-college (and sorority sister) roommate's mom who made the most amazing recipe book which includes little stories about when she makes the recipes and where they came from. 

One day I'll get there.

So, I just doubled my caramel corn (also known as Carl's corn) recipe and filled the tubs.  With more than enough to spare for the kids to munch on tomorrow while I'm at work.

And the extras...

Family update.

I have a feeling that Elsa is going to be celebrating her birthday for many days to come.  We seemed to stretch out her birthday long enough.

Her birthday was on Saturday the 18th and unfortunately Mark had to work.  But we still went to visit- after the brand new Station 4 open house- so we could spend a little time with Mark without lots of people needing his attention or asking questions when I knew the kids would just want to play on him like he's the best jungle gym in the world.

And I'll confess, we did toy with the idea of passing off the open house as her birthday party.  Who wouldn't want the Mayor to talk at your birthday party?  They had balloons, and shiny red fire engines.  What more would a kid want?  And at 3 I think she might have believed it...

But we didn't- back to daddy being the best jungle gym in the world.  It's not so professional.  I guess...

It's a beautiful station- and I like to think I know a thing or two about architecture. 

Kudos to the architects.

Here's Elsa wrestling with the headsets in the engine.

The headset won.  You should have seen all the hair it pulled out!!!

The rest of the kids had fun too.  I guess it never gets old hopping into the fire engines.

Here's Charlie trying to think up a good potty talk line to drop on his brother and sisters over the headsets.

Carl showing off his loose tooth.

And cool cat Sarina...

After that we stopped by to zip through grandma's house then off to Red Robin where two angels met me to keep me sane through the adventure of Red Robin with a 9, 6, 4, and just 3 year old. 

And it was crowded in there!

But they sang happy birthday to Elsa. 

That's the whole reason we went there.

I look more excited than she does.  I think it's the most still I have EVER seen that little girl.  She soaked it all in and loved every minute of it.

Now if you saw a Pacifica parked in the Red Robin parking lot around 5:30 on June 18th with blue balloons hanging out the doors.  That was mine.  We packed that car full of the leftover balloons from the fire station open house.  When the doors opened some wandered and I couldn't play the game of stuffing them in when I had kids to chase in the parking lot...  It wasn't intentional...

Then there was Baskin Robbins afterwards.

She's getting so big so fast. 

I like that but I don't. 

She's my baby who hasn't ever really been much of a baby- racing to keep up with her brothers and sister.

Welcome to 3 Miss Elsa Jane. 

And no, you really aren't 5 like you try to tell everyone.

Close Call

I'm guessing that I'm not the only parent who's had numerous close calls with their kids' safety.  Those heart stopping moments where you hold your breath and pray that they're ok.

I remember one especially close call that left me screaming soundlessly and it wasn't in a nightmare.  I was awake and it was real.  Carl and a friend were crossing a parking lot and a car zoomed within inches of them.  I was so terrified it left me reeling for days.  I'm still militant with the kids in parking lots.  People around me must think I'm nuts, constantly barking at them to stay next to me or to have their hands on the car.

This morning as I was getting myself and the kids ready for the day.  I let them play in the pole barn Mark's building on an amazing little vehicle called "the green machine."  They laid eyes on it and have not been able to part with it for more than minutes ever since.  Carl was literally asking at 6:15am if he could go out and ride it.

I said ok then saw him taking off for the barn and tried to talk him into just riding around the driveway but really, why settle for exposed aggregate driveway when there's a whole pole barn with nice smooth concrete just calling your name.

I figured that my nervousness about someone swooping by to grab him on their way to work was just being over protective and let him go as long as he checked in periodically.

What I didn't expect was that Charlie would follow him out there and decide to try and ride the back hoe from Mark's tractor (that's currently detached) like a bronco.

As I was done with my primping, Sarina's lunch was all packed, her hair was done, the kids had breakfast and their morning ovaltine (moo-moops for those who know) and I still had minutes to spare before the bus came. 

I felt pretty good about myself. 

Not to mention the kids were already outside getting fresh air.

Then Sarina comes racing from the barn, frantic.  All I could make out was "Charlie" and "barn."  She was crying and clearly terrified.

I ran as fast as my long skirt and flip flops allowed and found Charlie stumbling toward me with one shoe on- sobbing.

I checked him from head to toe and didn't see any blood or protruding bones. 

Then I understood his foot had been caught...

He must have used the levers and moved them just enough to pinch the side of his Romeo boot. 

I tried pulling it out but couldn't budge it. 

And I think I'm pretty strong.  Hefting around 50 lb bags of chicken and dog food from time to time doesn't make for a complete wimp.

Thank God he was wearing those shoes.  Most of the time he's running around barefoot.

I'm trying not to think about "What if..." 

It took me a good 45 minutes to stop shaking and for my heart rate to go back to normal.

You always hear terrifying stories about kids and big equipment.  Grandpa Charlie was just talking about how he had his leg caught in rototiller when he was little.  Who doesn't have a grandparent who lost a family member on a tractor accident?

It's one of those things about living in the country. 

Absolutely terrifying. 

But I try not to be too obsessed, just cautious.  I want all my babies to keep their limbs and digits.

And this was too good not to share.

UPDATE

Here's the shoe after it was liberated from the clutches of that nasty old back hoe:

And I'm still SO grateful that for some strange reason he put his shoes on that day to go outside and play.  Most days he's zipping around like Shoeless Joe Jackson.

Phew!


Here's Elsa.  It's 60 degrees outside.  She's sporting one of her brother's cleats and one of her sister's "ugg" boots. 

Ahhh, to be 2 almost 3 with the wind blowing through your hair as your swimsuit falls around your waist and your neighbor's trampoline calls your name...

And I must say, dinner tonight was awesome.  I made refried bean taquitos (a can of refried beans, two salad spoon sized spoonfuls of southwestern salsa and a sprinkle of cheese rolled in a flour tortillas-10- and baked at 400).  They gobbled it up- all 4 of them!  And that's RARE.  I served it with dipping sauce of the salsa and some of my sour cream, ranch dressing, taco seasoning and milk concoction.

For me, it was a cup of purple cabbage, an orange and a talapia fillet broiled with garlic salt and fresh ground pepper dressed with balsamic vinegar and Frank's hot sauce.  Just 4 days of 500 calories left...

Mark gets firehouse chili.  Lucky.

A Stranger At The Door

Hebrews 13:2
Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.

I love that verse from the Old Testament.  My mom has it on a plaque next to her front door.  And I love when it's discussed in church.  I LOVE the idea of getting to entertain an angel and doing so beautifully.

Tonight as I was bracing myself to start the bathtime/stories/bedtime marathon, someone rang our doorbell. 

I live out in the boonies on 5 acres, but it's only the second house off the freeway...

This seems to happen most often when my husband's on a 24 hour shift and I feel a little nervous anyway.  (One night it was a woman who was missing more fingers than she actually had, not to mention missing teeth...  Did I say we're en route to Shelton?)

Since I didn't see a car I figured it was my neighbor, sweet Kelly or one of her kids.  So I opened the door without hesitation.

But it wasn't Kelly or one of her kids.  It was a man, a little odd looking, holding an empty gallon water jug nervously explaining that his car had broken down and he needed water for it.

I have all 4 kids clustered around me at the door and am trying to not be too obvious as I keep them from spilling out onto the porch.  And of course one is only half dressed...

I think they could sense my fear because they were ALL OVER ME.

I took the jug, closed the door leaving the man on the porch, then walked in to the kitchen to fill his water jug.

The kids are chattering, "Is that man poor?"  "Is he a bad guy?"  And I'm trying to shush them so he doesn't hear their questions.

I give him the jug and wish him luck with his car and he wishes me luck back.  Nervous response or just odd- I'm not sure.  I couldn't help but notice that he stared a little too long at my chest when he took his water bottle...

I don't like that I have a suspicious feeling when a stranger comes to my door.  I feel like a bad person for assuming that someone evil is going to burst into my house and hurt me or my children.  Is it society or is it paranoia?  Too much television news?

I want to see a person in need and come to their aid without hesitation.  Why do I question their motives and intentions?  Surely in biblical times there were rapists and murderers, yet they seemed to try and outdo each other entertaining strangers.

Of course if it were my child, friend, or relative, I'd want them helped when in need. 

So, while I'm a little leery- I try to help as I can. 

Because what if it IS an angel and I just don't know?

Taco Salad

Before I get to the recipe a little dinnertime story.

Last night Carl requested that we say prayers before dinner.  (Sarina went through that phase too- it's so endearing).

So, Carl starts it off with an angelic smile.  "Thank you God for my beautiful family.  My beautiful dad, mom, sisters and brother."  I think that's how it went.

Then Charlie chimes in (actually before Carl could finish) "Thank you God for the beautiful naked ladies." 

What?!

Then they both giggle.

Oh my.  What's in store for us..?

The girls also added their prayers but more appropriately than Mr. Charlie (Sarina sang the Apple Seed prayer and Elsa made something up.)

Now for dinner.

I'm making taco salad for dinner tonight and it reminded me that a friend I recently took dinner to (while she recovered from surgery) requested the recipe...

Taco Salad Schreck Style

ground beef (however much you like- right now I'm browning 4.11lbs because it freezes well and is easy for meals down the road either at the fire station for Mark or home)  I season it with Costco's taco seasoning mix- one of these days I'll try the America's Test Kitchen taco seasoning recipe- I hear it's super yummy).

For the salad I usually combine:
1 can kidney beans, rinsed and drained
1 can corn - I buy the crisp sweet something or other in a short fat can- the name escapes me
cucumber sliced
red, yellow, or orange bell pepper sliced up
black olives
lettuce (again whatever's on hand- tonight it's romaine, sometimes it's field greens, sometimes it's plain old iceburg which has such a nice crunch even if there is no nutritional value)
shredded cheese (colby, jack, cheddar- whatever's on hand)
I really like to add a couple of hard boiled eggs- I know it sounds weird but my mom made it that way (I think) and it's how I like it.  My kids on the other hand cannot stand hard boiled eggs so those get omitted:(

dressing:
This I just eyeball.  I mix up sour cream with a little milk to make it a good dressing consistency.  To that I add some ranch mix (I like Uncle Dan's) and more of the taco seasoning- to taste.  If I'm feeling fancy and have it on hand I'll add a couple spoonfuls of salsa.  And if I'm wanting it spicy I'll add some hot sauce (Tabasco or Franks either works).

Mix the salad with the dressing.

When I serve it I crush up some Doritos (fancy I know- you can use some more fancy chips if you like- those Chipotle Cheese rice and bean chips would be good too)

Top the chips with some of the salad

Add some cheese

Then some meat.

Buon Appetito.  Wait, that's Italian.  I don't remember the Spanish version.  Enjoy.  That's better.

Hasta luego.

Oh yeah, I'm still doing HcG.  I've lost 13 lbs and am nearing the home stretch on the injections.  Just 3-4 more of injections then 3 days of 500 calories.  After that is 3 weeks of no sugar or starches.  I'm holding steady, and have yet to cheat once.:)  Plus I've been exercising every other day.  First my 5 mile run/walk, then Jillian Michael's Ripped in 30, then spin class, and today Jillian again.  Thank God Jillian gets a tad bit easier on the second run through- that's one tough 30 minute stretch!

Strawberries the second time around

Last night was a rare night when Mark and I went to bed early, at 11:00 at night I hear something in the boys room but ignore it thinking someone was shuffling around in there.

Not long after I hear the "Maaamaaaaaa" call.  You know when you hear that call someone's sick.  I raced in there afraid of what I'd encounter. 

Charlie groaned that he "throwed up."  As I reached for him to pull him off the top bunk, his little shoulder brushed my mouth. 

Of course that was the shoulder COVERED IN VOMIT! 

Smeared    all     over     my     mouth!!!!

I pinched my lips together and raced him to the bathroom to clean us both up.

I'll admit it.  I scrubbed my mouth THOROUGHLY before tacking his little vomit soaked pjs and getting him cleaned up. 

Of course then I changed all his bedding and got him all nestled back in hoping that was the end of it. 

But he had more. 

I had no idea one little belly could hold so much. 

That was the thought in my head as I was gagging but trying to hide it while he wretched into the toilet.  The poor guy was awesome thank God we raced to the potty in time.

It's my fault.  I let him eat a TON of strawberries and cool whip for dessert.  He blew through his, had seconds, then ate Carl's whole dessert.  It was one of the rare times I wasn't monitoring how much he was eating for dessert.  I decided to let him decided when he was done. 

Oops. 

I guess there's a fine line between monitoring and letting him learn his limit.

Poor baby.

It reminds me of a time I spent the night with my grandma (of the Golden Rule fame) and she let me eat a whole jar of dry roasted peanuts.  It was years- maybe a decade- before I'd touch a dry roasted peanut again.

I wonder if Charlie would eat a strawberry tomorrow...

Already?!

This was actually drafted yesterday...

When did this little angel turn into such a big girl?

I swear it happened over night.

Maybe I was in denial but I truly forgot that there was a stage called the Tweens.

I'm really not ready for this stage. It's a warning that my little girl won't be little much longer and I feel like I just got her. I remember holding her in the daze of first-time-mama-blur thinking, she's mine. We made her and this little person was created 1/2 Mark and 1/2 me. It was so amazing I remember it taking my breath away.

Fast forward 9 short (yes a lot has been packed into them but they still feel like short) years.

Now I have a little girl experimenting with strong emotions everytime I turn around.

And it's really tough to let roll off my back.

I try to be a pretty neutral person- there are enough hotheads out there to color the world- I like safe.

Did you know I was a Middle Child?

I've tried to keep the word "hate" out of my kids vocabulary. Now I hear it all the time. "I HATE my hair!". "That SUCKS!". "It's so DUMB!". Over what seems to me like the most trivial things.

Cognitively, I know it's practice for the curve balls life will throw her way. So I take a deep breath and let it go. It's so very hard for me...

Yes, I'm still on my wacky diet. I've lost 11 lbs so far but am looking for another 10. My naturopath said I could exercise and it would boost the weightloss. Initially I considered trying Jillians Ripped In 30 but my practical thinking husband suggested I got for a walk instead. Of course, a half marathoner such as myself has a little pride... So I did a nice hilly 5 mile (ok almost- 4.92 to be exact) walk/run. It was decent I did it in an hour which I don't think is too bad considering how long it's been since I last ran (May 15th if you're curious) and my 2 straight weeks at 500 calories.

I just finished weeding a SMALL portion of my yard and am enjoying a little sunshine and birdsong before Mark gets home with the kids.

It's a beautiful day.

Definitely one to sing our praises.

I know I lead a blessed life.

Chicken Sh*% Everywhere

Just as I completed wiping out our new, clean garage fridge post defrosted chicken wing goo spill (gag!), I'm inside washing my hands trying not to be OCD.  In strolls precious angel Elsa holding her hand out to me.

If you look closely at her pointer finger you'll see a nice treat...

Chicken poop!!!

"I wanted to eat it."  she says matter of factly.  "It wasn't yucky."  She finishes with her trademark Elsa little all knowing head shaking. 

Massive gag.

We washed hands.

We sanitized.

About her mouth, I'm at a loss.  I just hope that chicken poop isn't toxic and the fish tacos help to cleanse her little mouth. 

YUCK!!!

And yes, I'm still doing HcG.  Yesterday was almost torture.  I had to turn down fresh Hood Canal shrimp on the bbq, steamer clams, Wingdome sauced chicken wings, an amazing looking "Bacon Explosion" wrapped sausage, yummy brats, broccoli salad, homemade mac and cheese, and a cake that looked to die for- chocolate with a layer of caramel topped with a homemade marshmallow whipped icing courtesy of Robin Baldwin's grandma.  AHHHHH!!!

But I did it.:)

(Robin- I still want her recipe)

So far, 8+ lbs.  Enough progress to want to keep going.  I'll be the college weight me soon enough.  I'm excited to see what an older version of that body looks like...  I know it won't be the same but less discouraging than before the super crazy diet.

Clean House or Happy Kids

I read a quote from Eleanor Roosevelt in a recent Real Simple magazine, "the only advantage in not being too good a housekeeper is that your guests are so pleased to feel how very much better they are."

A lot of you out there should feel how very much better you are than me.

I look at the dust on the shelves and the fur gathered in bits under the tables and hiding in corners-enough to cover a small dog. 

I see the spots of milk that didn't get wiped up quickly enough to prevent them from seeping into the wood- leaving polka dots, evidence of the trail of a leaky sippy cup like the bread crumbs in Hansel and Gretel. 

That's a milk polka dot, if you look really closely you can see one of the small rodents worth of dog hair in the upper part of the picture.  It's a popular dog hair migration location.  Funny I should know those spots...?

Then I think of the kids playing catch with Mark.  Brushing Sarina's hair and fixing it in ponytails.  I see the kids having a dance party in the living room (sometimes I join in, sometimes Mark is invited to a "wedding dance" with his first little girl).  Reading Mother Goose to kids who still enjoy the rhymes.

There are trails of soap in the bathroom sinks, bits of toilet paper shredded by a two year old sitting on the potty waiting to be wiped, stacks of laundry that still haven't been put away even though they've been pillaged repeatedly for a new day's wardrobe.

And I know that my kids are happy.  They have a mama and daddy who love them more than anything in this world.

Dirty house, happy kids, dirty house, happy kids, dirty house, happy kids, dirty house, happy kids.

And all you people out there get to feel better than me because you vacuum, dust, scrub toilets and sinks on a regular basis.  Enjoy friends, I admit it.  I can't think of the last time I changed everyones sheets and have no idea the last time a vacuum was used upstairs. 

Oh well. 

Life is short and soon enough it will all be spic and span... 

I think...

This coming from a girl who used to fold and re-fold all her sweaters so they stacked perfectly just like in the Gap.  A girl who SWORE that everything would be spic and span at all times, whatever the cost.  A girl who could have never imagined living in a house as dusty and cluttered as mine is (let alone the chicken poop smeared on a naked little girl's belly- ack!).  But the dust is evidence of life and clutter is part of a full house.  Chicken poop, well- ewwww!!  I embrace it all the messiness of it.

As for HcG, I've lost 3 1/2 lbs so far.  Today I had an Americano in the morning, an orange before I made everyones lunch, a cup of chopped purple cabbage, 100 g chicken sauteed in water with oregano, chili powder, and garlic salt dressed with balsamic vinegar and Franks hot sauce and 1/2 a brown rice cake for lunch.  I sweet talked Mark into making me another Americano mid afternoon.  For dinner I had 100g Talapia (now I'm not sure if it's an ok fish...) baked with garlic salt and fresh ground pepper over 2 cups loosely packed butter lettuce and 1/2 cup blueberries dressed with... you guessed it balsamic vinegar and Franks.  Not bad.  I'm feeling ok.  But I need to buy more garlic salt.:)

My energy is good, today I planted two massive pots my mom gave me.  First filled them 2/3 of the way with bricks then with dirt I hauled around the house in a wheelbarrow.  I didn't feel super sleepy mid day like I usually do. 

So far, so good.

One day at a time.

HcG day 5

Well, not any real change yet.  I did eat a fair amount while spending the weekend with my awesome college roommate over the weekend.  She and her husband sweetly prepared some nice rich food for me.  Pasta puttanesca, blueberry pancakes, bacon and scrambled eggs, yummy turkey sandwich on homemade wheat bread, chicken pot pie, and such moist sweet brownies- all a girl could hope for when giving up sugar for the next 44+ days (unless it was some Sweet Charley B's).

I'm now on day 2 of the 500 calories. 

Yesterday was travel day home from Eugene so it was a little tough.  I had a couple of cups of black coffee in the morning.  An orange and half a brown rice cake at 11.  100 grams of pre-cooked prawns (bought at the grocery store and nicely weighed for me) and Starbucks refresh tea at 1pm.  An apple and 1/2 brown rice cake at 4pm (before making dinner) and 2 cups loosely packed salad greens with balsamic vinegar and 100g prawns sauteed in water with garlic salt and fresh ground pepper for dinner.  At night a cup of nighty night tea.  I wasn't able to get in my 1cup of veggies at lunch on the drive so I skipped it.

Today has included a lovely Americano my husband kindly made me this morning.  An orange at 10:30am, 2 cups loosely packed salad greens with balsamic vinegar, and prawns sauteed in water with garlic salt and fresh ground pepper and 1/2 a brown rice cake.  Pre-dinner fruit will be 1/2 cup blueberries.  For dinner I'm thinking chicken breast with mexican seasonings, shredded cabbage, and a grassino.  I have a little heartburn- maybe because of the vinegar.

I'm not starving, just think about food a little too much- but that's how I always seem to be- planning meals for this herd takes a LOT of thought and prep.  Especially when packing 2 school lunches, trying to make sure dinner is on the table by 5:30pm each night, and sometimes (but not as often as I like) packing 24hrs worth of food for Mark. 

I wish I could get  a commission on the Epilator sales.  Thanks to Sweet Kelly's introduction- I've had two friends get their own.  The pain and price of beauty made sweeter by sharing with friends.:)

Tonight the rest of the family is having tacos.  I am looking forward to trying out America's Test Kitchen recipe for taco seasoning- I've heard rave reviews.  But for tonight it's the costco seasoning on ground beef, Jen Valdenegro's refried beans (reefers simmered with green chilies, milk and cheese), home fried tortilla shells, shredded lettuce and cheese, sour cream and hot sauce.  The family eats it pretty well so they'll be well fed.

Here's to quacky pounds and inches!

I'm a sucker, I know it.

I'll admit.  I'm a sucker. 

I fall for all kinds of things. 

In college there was some guy going around offering workshops to improve your memory.  I signed up (it cost as much as one month of my rent).  The school canceled the event before the guy could cash our checks. 

It's probably a good thing.  My memory is terrible, no workshop would fix that...

Probably one of my husband's favorites, he STILL brings it up, was the broom that vacuumed up what it swept.  Seriously, sounded great!  I was always sweeping our house and could never find a dustpan.  Seemed like the perfect solution to me.  I saw it on the Today Show, so it had to work... right?  Oh yeah, it was also endorsed by Good Housekeeping (whatever that means...  now I know that it doesn't mean much).

Nope.  It was terrible, and way too expensive for a broom.

Can you hear my more cynical husband teasing, "It's a broom, it's a vacuum, it's a broom, no it's a vacuum"...  Oh boy.  That was returned...

But I have high hopes for this one. 

I'm on day 1 of the hcG diet.  It sounds SUPER quacky (even the required reading book Pounds And Inches is WACKO!)  but I've heard about great results from numerous sources. 

So, I'm giving it a shot.

Hey, I've had 4 lovely little cherubs and nursed each one.  I feel like my metabolism is out of whack and this claims to reign it in.

I don't lead a sedentary life- I really don't know how that's possible with a big family- I eat moderately healthy and exercise at least 2-3 times a week- sometimes more.  Heck I just finished a 1/2 marathon!  I'm not a couch potato.  Yet, I don't lose any weight.  I've tried the Fiber Diet (suggested for me based on a quiz in Women's Health Magazine- told you I'm a sucker) that didn't work.  I tried P90X and it was awesome!  But the second I stopped, it all came back and won't leave. 

So, here's the deal.  I give myself a shot (yup- even give myself shots here) one time a day for 23 days of hcG.  Ready for this, hcG is a hormone found in pregnant women's urine.  You'd think I've had enough of that by now...

Days 1-3
I (yes, I know it sounds wacko) eat fatty food until I'm really full.  This is supposed to shock my body into using the hcG to fight the fat.  Whatever.  I'm not scientific so most of that goes over my head.  I hear it works, people!  They also say that I really do need to do this otherwise I'll have severe hunger the first week.  So, I NEED to stuff my face with my favorite foods to make me less hungry later.  Rules are rules.

Days 4-23 (up to 30)
I continue with the shots plus a pretty strict 500 calorie diet.  The hcG is supposed to suppress the hunger and this time period is supposed to detox all the junk in my system and reset everything (habits, metabolism, etc).

The Diet:
All the black coffee, unsweetened tea, water I want.
2 fruits (they're detailed which ones and how much)
2 veggies (also detailed)
2 starches (1/2 rice cracker, 1 Melba toast, 1 grassini) I may go with rice cracker since it's a chance to eliminate gluten
2 100g servings of lean protein
I can combine any of those in any way I want except only 1serving at a meal. 

For example one day is:
cup of tea/coffee for breakfast (no biggie for me, I don't usually eat breakfast), an orange for mid morning snack, lunch is 7 prawns and 2 cups of salad greens with balsamic vinegar, and a grassini.  Mid afternoon snack is an apple and 1/2 rice cake.  Dinner in 100g chicken (about 1 1/2 chicken breast tenders) with 1 cup shredded cabbage and taco seasonings.  Then cup of tea before bed.

If I'm at my target weight at the end of this then I stop the shots and continue the 500 calories for 3 more days.  If I want to continue I can go a week longer then stop the shots and continue the 500 calories for 3 more days from there.

This diet averages 1/2-1 lb a day.  I can do most anything for a 1/2 to a pound of weight loss a day.  Or so I think when I'm in the "gorging" phase.:)

Then for 3 weeks I eat whatever I want except sugar and starches.  Then...  I'm cured!   ???

So, I have a naturopath who is supervising this (did I mention I have 4 kiddos to consider?  I'm not going to COMPLETELY risk my health for beauty).  I saw her yesterday and she watched me give myself a B12 shot- just to practice.

And today I did my quick poke.  I'll admit, I don't want Sarina to know what I'm doing, so I'm trying to hide the pokes.  It feels a little like I'm a drug addict...

This morning I weighed out my lean protein and put them in individual baggies so I can quickly grab them to prepare my meals. 

And I had Sarina take my before pictures.  Yuck.  So, correction, she knows I'm doing a diet but I don't want her to see the needles.

For breakfast I had a costco Energy Bar with Omega 3 blah blah blah.  Mid morning I had 3 farm fresh eggs fried in butter on a toasted piece of Dave's Killer Bread with one mini Babybel cheese and some sweet hot mustard (made me feel a little sick). 
For lunch I'll have a gardenburger burrito.
For dinner I'm planning Taco Truck chicken burrito with avocado and cheese between Sarina's gymnastics lesson and Carl's baseball game.  I'll probably eat 2/3s of it (I usually try to eat just 1/2).
And I think I'll try tea tonight to start the habit when I'm not feeling super hungry.

Wish me luck and I'll let you know how it goes. 

Might be a few days before I post again. 

We'll see.

Mind Over Body...?

I've had a few people tell me they didn't know I was a runner. 

Before Sunday I would have said I wasn't. 

I wanted to be.  On some people it looks great, they zip along with their thin yet muscled legs, looking like they could go on forever.  Who wouldn't want to be that person?!

Here's my story...

January 3rd I did a crazy thing and said I'd run the Capital City Half Marathon.  Of course I'd be tempted to run it for Sweet Charley B.  I zipped off full of determination, googled Capital City Marathon and completed the registration right away. 

What I didn't know was that there was a Capital City Half Marathon in OHIO!  That happened to the one that, in my nervous haste, I signed up for.  I realized my mistake that night and was able to unregister for that one and register for the Olympia Capital City Half Marathon. 

Phew!

I will say that the Ohio one looked way more friendly (they sent me all kinds of friendly emails leading up to the big day) and way more flat.:/

Between January 3rd and May 15th I tried to enjoy running.  I did do a couple of runs outside- Sweet Kelly lead me on a nice trail run around our houses- my longest run in that time span.  Mark and I even went for a couple of runs together.  Of course his legs are a tiny bit longer than mine and he's in WAY better shape than I'll ever be, he has been known to be called an elite athlete... 

But most of my running was on a treadmill, at 24 hour fitness, while the kids were in the childcare center there.  I thought that I preferred the treadmill.  I could control my speed, incline, monitor my pace, etc.  But it was so hard for me. 

I didn't enjoy it. 

It felt like a chore. 

I could never go more than 5 miles and then it was playing games with myself.  I'll run at 8.0 for 2 minutes then walk at 3.5 for a minute then jog at 6.0.  All that mental energy trying to figure out how I was going to go the farthest the fastest took away from the experience.  Needless to say, my running was sporadic and left me so tired the rest of the day.

Along comes May 14th and I see the cool red shirt for the 1/2 marathon and I wanted to earn it.  I wanted to be able to wear it with pride.  I also wanted to be able to say that I did it.  And I did it for Charley B. So my gentle bully friends worked together and encouraged me to walk/run the half. 

The walk part of the offer made it feel do-able for me. 

So, I said I would.

The morning of the half marathon, I picked up two of my favorite people and headed down to Sylvester Park.  There we met up with other amazing friends. 

I felt like a complete schmuck for telling one friend I was only doing the 5 (a couple weeks prior) so, organized person that she is, she downgraded her registration to the 5.  Of course procrastinator that I am, I planned to do it the morning of the marathon, then changed my mind at 7pm the night before and decided to stick it out on the 1/2.  So, she re-registered for the half and Brooke, Arel and I pledged to walk/run the half. 

I still thought I'd walk more than run but also wanted to put in my best effort.

We started running a nice moderate pace.  I found I could talk and it didn't hurt.  So I was game to keep going.  Keep in mind the most I had EVER run in my LIFE was 6 miles before the day of the half marathon.

We brisk walked some of the hills but ended up running MOST of the half (Brooke thinks less than a mile was walked).  The company was wonderful.  The scenery was beautiful.  And I couldn't have asked for a better experience. 

Yes, it was pouring and I was drenched. 

But I did it for the most wonderful family in the world.  I did it for Sweet Charley B, and her mama, and her daddy, her big brother Sam and little sister Georgie Lou.  I think she filled my sails with the wind I needed.

It helped that the landscape was so lush, green, with spring flowers and flowering trees.  We went through some historic neighborhoods and I so enjoyed getting to see them at a pedestrian pace.  So much of my time travelling around is zipping as fast as I can go so I don't get to see the lily-of-the-valley in bloom, or the fields behind the houses. 

And through the course I got 2 hours and 51 minutes (we did have a long potty stop in that time...) to talk about whatever popped into my head with two women who have the most kind and generous hearts.  It was blissful.  Yes, I called running the half marathon blissful.  I really enjoyed the experience.


(I can't figure out how to get us all to show on the blog here-it's in my facebook if you want to see the picture)

Now, what will this mean for the future? 

I have no idea. 

I love the idea of running more than before. 

I'll have to see if I can do it outside from time to time to keep a little bit of stamina and try registering for another.  But it'll have to be with friends.  Friends who can deal with a slow but steady 13 minute mile pace.  Tortoise and the hare, baby.  I'm the tortoise, but I did it.  And I don't say it often, but I'm really proud of myself.

It's amazing what our bodies can do.  Mine has grown and nourished 4 beautiful babies.  I can even still carry all of them (not all at the same time- maybe 2 at a time if they cooperate and hold on...).  My body has done other wonderful things too, but now I can add complete 1/2 marathon to the list of wonders. 

Maybe I could be a runner, though I doubt anyone would watch me and think I look graceful doing it, or anyone watching me would want to be me out there huffing along...  Still, for that feeling of accomplishment, I just might do it again.

I am grateful I have the good fortune of health so that I could do it. 

That and a couple of wonderful gentle bullies to help me along.

A husband who encouraged me.

And two little boys who wanted to know if I "won the race" the second I pulled into the garage.

I am so lucky to get to live this wonderful life.

The Parenting Marathon

I'm not great at responding to comments.  I'm surprised, yet pleased that you like reading my blog.  I often feel like I wish I could be a fly on someone's wall just to see what goes on in their life and if it's really as easy as they make it look. 
Do they lose their cool from time to time? 
Do they leave dirty dishes in the sink and have laundry piled high? 
Do their toilets ever get that nasty brown ring in them before they get cleaned?
I guess this blog, in addition to documenting SOME of the insanity that occurs from time to time in our house for the kids to reflect back on one day, is also to invite you to be a fly on my wall...

Another little bit of advice I gleaned from the book Slow Burn (by Stu Mittleman) is that when you're training for a marathon (not that I ever see myself actually running more than 6 miles in a row, ever) is to think of it as running 1 mile 26 times, not running 26 miles.  Breaking it down into those smaller segments makes it feel more manageable.

I think that parenting must be the same.  It's so easy to get caught up in thinking, when the kids are in school... fill in the blank-
my house will be clean,
my laundry will be caught up,
I'll read a book during daylight hours,
I'll run leisurely errands,
I'll go for a nice walk in a pretty neighborhood and enjoy looking at everything around. 

But it's so scary to think of not having all those little mess-makers running around underfoot.  Planning every bit of time around their needs.

I have to consciously remind myself to stop and enjoy the impromptu hugs and kisses, the demands to be picked up and held, the persistent tugging to get my undivided attention (which can be pretty tough when there are 3 siblings to contend with and a fairly long "to-do" list).

My first 9 years of parenting have zipped by in the blink of an eye!  Now I'm learning how to not get my blood pressure up when my oldest is full of angst and practicing being dramatic, "Carrie (I'm making up friends' names here) and I are over.  We had a fight today.  We aren't friends anymore."  I try to remember what little girl relationships are like and direct her toward healthy perspectives (and relationships).  I also try not to overreact or try to fix everything.  I want her to feel comfortable sharing her troubles with me.  So far it's working, I think...

I know my days are limited of Carl calling his dad "Da Da."  (Like this morning when he called Mark at the fire station- on their station line at 6:30AM, asked for "Mark" and when Mark answered he said, "Hi DaDa.  Mama bought me batting gloves."  Granted it was the middle of a 48 hour shift and he was really wanting to tell his big news to his dad.  But 6:30am is awfully early.  Thankfully they were awake:)

It feels like I waited forever for him to talk (he only had a few words just before he turned 3), I'm not ready for him to stop saying things like a little boy.  I also dread the day he doesn't want to cuddle.  He loves to rest his ear against my chest and there's no sweeter feeling that snuggling someone who's so content in your arms.

Even though Charlie's an independent soul, he still needs our approval.  I hope he'll always seek it.  I have a feeling he's going to go on many many adventures in his lifetime.  I hope they're all fantastic and benefit him in all ways possible.  He's so curious, I know he's going to follow that curiosity.  But he also needs a lot of reassurance.  I love that.  I love that he explores but looks back (after a while) to know that he's doing the right thing.  And when he's not he's devastated and quick to apologize.

And Elsa.  I wonder who she'll grow into.  She's so influenced by her big brothers.  She's constantly in their dresser, pulling out their clothes to wear.  She has so many adorable outfits, but it's her brothers' clothes that appeal the most.  She spends the most time with them.  Yet, tonight she and Sarina were snuggled in Sarina's bed looking at each other, giggling.  It was the sweetest sister moment I think I've seen.  Elsa looks so much like Sarina did.  And she has such strong opinions, just like Sarina always has.  She's spunky and so much fun to watch.

While it often feels like I'm on a merry-go-round that's never going to stop and I regularly long for a clean, tidy house and a little reliability to my day, I know that I'm one lucky mama.  It's not easy meeting the needs of so many strong willed little people, but I wouldn't want to do anything else.  I worry that I'll feel lost when the dust settles and I'm not constantly being tugged on.  I wonder what it will be like to have a calm predictable day.  It's only taken me 9 years to learn how to let go enough to not have to put EVERY ITEM IN ITS PLACE at the end of the day.  Some nights I even don't unload the dishwasher before I go to bed (that's rare but it's happened a few times) some nights I even concede and don't do bathtime before bed so they can have a little more fun a little longer.  It's taken a long time to relax the little bit that I have.

Parenting kids must be like a marathon.  One mile at a time/one packed lunch at a time/one time-out at a time/one snuggle at a time.

And for the record: I'm looking forward to my fire stopping husband to come home for more than just 24 hours at a time.  It's been a long 2 weeks!  I miss him and the silliness he shares with the kids and the affection he gives me.  Our family is so much more fun when he's home.

I know that I'm one lucky girl.  I try not to take it for granted.

Back to showers at night?

I think that now I remember why I used to take all my showers at night.  There are many reasons why it makes sense: no little people stripping down to jump in uninvited, no need to quickly rush through all tasks in the shower to check on what's going on downstairs, and now no worries that a little 4 year old isn't locked out of the house.

Last night was the first night home solo with the kids since the door chimes went off in the middle of the night.  Nervous Nelly here made sure to carefully lock all doors going into the house and double check that all windows were locked.  What I didn't foresee is forgetting that if you go out into the garage and close the door behind you, you're locked out.

Which is exactly what happened to Charlie this morning.

While I was in the shower.

And the big kids were playing in the bonus room.

So no one heard him knocking, knocking, knocking. 

Then Mr. Smartypants realized he could open the garage door to free himself.  He then tried the doorbell.  Once.  Twice.  And three times.  To no avail.

Poor little guy then ran next door stocking-footed.  He tried the neighbor's back door.  Then their front door.

Finally he was saved. 

They opened the front door and called my house and talked to Sarina who assured them when he was inside.

Poor little boy.  When I held him as he sobbed I said, "You must have been so scared, buddy."  His response was, "I thought the mice were going to EAT meeeeee." 

It must be so hard to be only 4 years old, locked out of the house, while mama takes a nice long hot shower.

Maybe it is time to start showering the night before...

Now for food.  I tried to post pictures but they keep getting blocked.  I don't know how to fix this...:/

Here's a newly found recipe out of Mark's aunt's delightful family cookbook filled with recipes from Grandpa Charlie's family.  This one is from a family friend who cane to the US from Sweden when she was 12.  It was so easy and yummy.  Don't think there's any need to buy crescent rolls in a tube again.:)

Eva Strand Renn's Icebox Butterhorns
(Dinner Rolls)

1 pkg (1/4 ounce) dry active yeast
2 T warm water (110-115 degrees)
2 c warm milk (110-115 degrees)
1/2 c sugar
1 egg, beaten
1 t salt
6 cups all-purpose flour
3/4 butter melted
additional butter melted

In a large mixing bowl, dissolve yeast in water.  Add milk, sugar, egg, salt, and 3 cups flour; beat until smooth.

Beat in butter and remaining flour (dough will be slightly sticky)

DO NOT KNEAD

Place in greased bowl, cover and refrigerate over night.

Punch down dough and divide in half.  On a floured surface, roll each half into a 12" circle.  Cut each circle into 12 pie shaped wedges.  Beginning at the wide end, roll up each wedge and place point down on a greased baking sheet.

Cover and let rise in a warm place until doubled, about 1 hour.

Bake at 350 degrees for 15-20 minutes or until golden brown.  Immediately brush tops with melted butter.

Yield: 2 dozen.

I made these for the morningtime so I brushed the 12" circles with butter and sprinkled with cinnamon sugar.  They were yummy and easy.

Next up out of that cookbook: Grandma Elsa's Apple Tea Squares.  She may have made them for Bing Crosby when she was his cook in Hayden Lake.

Middle of the Night

Seriously.  I wonder if there will be a single day without drama.

On Tuesday night, while my husband was at work saving lives, I went to set the alarm system after putting the kids to bed.  Trick was, the alarm system wouldn't "arm."  So I set it to door chime instead.  Some nights I'd let it go and not do anything but I was Nervous Nelly for some reason so I set the chime and took both my cell phone and house phone to bed with me.  Truth be told, we're RIGHT off the freeway and there is a house close by that has known meth users living there so I feel justified being nervous from time to time.

Anyway.  I went to bed and was SOUND asleep when I hear an obnoxiously loud "... door open."  Trouble was- I was so asleep I didn't catch the first part.  It was a mixed blessing that Sarina also woke up with the loud squawk and told me it had said the back garage door. 

I texted (I have no idea why I sent a text instead of calling but I was running on adrenaline) Mark that the chimes went off.  He called and talked with me while I zipped down (in my nightgown and no glasses- smart) to lock the door between the house and garage.  He then told me he thought it was ok to call 911.

So I did and I was SO IMPRESSED with our AWESOME Thurston County Sheriff.  He was here in less than 5 minutes with back up shortly after.  Sweet man (wearing a bullet proof vest I noticed :/) walked the perimeter of the house and checked the garage.  If someone had tried to get in the garage they didn't enter - there were no footprints.  I'm hoping that it was just the wind and not a real live bad guy scared away by the alarm system squawking. 

Shortly after Mark arrived home and I felt MUCH safer even though it was tough to fall back asleep.  Phew. 

It was one more crazy (and scary) night.

I'm SO VERY glad my husband wears bunker gear at work and not a bullet proof vest.  Fires and a lot of other calls he goes on are scary enough but intentional violence is a completely different game.  Bless them for doing the jobs they do.

P.S. In the morning Elsa stood on the boys' bunk bed ladder and peed- hitting not one but 2 beds.  Yay!  Lucky for me it was my day to work so super hero hubby had the joy of washing and re-making the beds.  Love those "Primary Caregivers." ;)

Wild Kingdom Continues

And the fun doesn't stop. 

Mark took a little time to cut the boys hair on the front porch yesterday, classy I know but it's so darn cute!  He sets them up on the high chair and talks to them like he's a real barber and gives them candy when it's all over and saves us $35.  Nice.

So when he was cleaning up- using his blower instead of sweeping (the beauty of doing it on the porch) he heard a loud hissing.  Yes he heard it over the blower.  It was this little beauty...




Yes.  It's a bat.  And no, I can't re-orient the picture.  But it's actually a little bit cute, except that now I'm nervous about using the front door.  And what the heck do we do with this little guy?  For some reason he reminds me of the Count on Sesame Street.  I almost want to pet him but I saw his little teeth when he hissed so I won't.  Plus I'm not much of an animal person, except when it comes to puppies and baby chicks.

I hear a lot of whining so I'm going to try and gather the troops and inspire them to work together rather than battle. 

Wish me luck (with the bat and kids and all).

Adios (it is almost Cinco de Mayo).

Not enough hand sanitizer in the WORLD

I'll be honest.  I've been holding out on a new post thinking that it would be about my fabulous new laundry room with wonderful new LARGE capacity washer and dryer and all the beautiful new shelves my husband is building me so that our laundry room can be finished they way I had hoped it would be.

But this illustration is just such an amazingly disgusting example of life in the country for this girl who is not so country.

It's day 2 of my wonderful husband's 48 hour shift at the fire station.  My boys let the dog in and I noticed something was hanging out of her mouth.  I thought it was one of the gloves that my kids left outside yesterday which I have yet to pick up a day later.  Then sweet 4 year old Charlie comes walking up holding this, by the bone!!!!!!

Brace yourself...

Yes, it's a COW HOOF!!!  I have no idea why the cowboys left this little treasure behind when they came to get the cows, yesterday the poor heifers were mooing themselves crazy when they were being loaded up and moved, probably so they could become our next burgers.  This might make me a vegetarian.  To see that thing flopping in my little boy's hand- there's just not enough hand sanitizer in the world to make up for that.

And to think I shrieked loudly when I caught Elsa digging her hand in the "special lady's garbage box" in the public women's restroom....

What the heck do I do with this?!  Mark's at work, my awesome father-in-law is up in Tacoma.  I think I'm going to have to put on my big girl panties, put it in a garbage bag and drop it in our garbage can.  Eww!!  Part of me wants to take it over to the cowboy's truck and leave it on his windshield...  But I don't think that follows the Golden Rule.  Darn.

I'm breathing deeply now.  Trying to find a happy place to go to.

Life in the country is just so colorful, isn't it?

I do find it ironic that I just read a chapter titled, "Act As If Everything That Happens Is for the Good" (Slow Burn: Burn Fat Faster By Exercising Slower by Stu Mittleman).  Hmm...  I wonder what's "for the Good" in this experience.  I'll let you know if I think of it.

I've been meaning to disburse all the random items in the three big laundry baskets stacked in our bathroom.  Maybe tonight, to rid my mind of the vision of little Charlie and the COW HOOF(!!), it'll get done. 

Sorry about the picture but I HAD to share that grossness with you.

No recipes today, but I am going to make the Knock You Naked Brownies on Pioneer Woman's Blog tomorrow for the kids to take for Teacher Appreciation Week.  I appreciated the 24 hours notice that was emailed that they "would appreciate us to do something nice for our child's teacher."  One day I'll be on top of things like this and prepared for it when it comes.  For now, it's scramble and find something that appears to have an ounce of thought behind it.

And soon, pictures of the newly fabulous laundry room.

It Really Does Take A Village

I don't know how people manage without a support network.  Today was prime example for me.  While my studly husband had to go save lives, I felt like I had mission impossible that was only made possible by awesome friends helping out.  Here were the logistics: Sarina and Carl had to catch the bus at 8:26am, Charlie had to be at school in town at 8:30am, Elsa at 9am and I had a meeting in Steilacoom at 9am with architects working on a renovation of the ferry terminal which is in the historic district.  So...

Sweet Kelly once again took in my kids in the morning to shoo them onto the school bus.  I dropped Charlie and Elsa at school, cheated on Charlie's seatwork ( :/ I was in a hurry!) left Elsa with awesome Kristi to lead down to her classroom and jetted up to Steilacoom for my meeting.

Of course I forgot that today was the Easter party in Elsa's class so I missed the Easter egg hunt and pinata, but awesome Kristi captured pictures and videos:)

Then when running errands, my angel A-Mandy zipped her head around super fast when she heard my annoyed "Carl James!" in Fred Meyer as I tried to navigate an unfamiliar grocery store with 3 cranky kids and a billion old farts and other moms trying to push through too narrow aisles.  Angel A-Mandy took my kids so I could find what I was looking for and even bought them treats.  She also stuck with me through Costco while we both did our Costco shop.

I wonder when I'll get to reciprocate the kindness others show me.  I often feel like the high maintenance friend and look forward to the day I can ease someone else's burden.  That little bit of help lightens the load so much.  I hope I remember that when my hands are more free and I can spare time to help someone else.

Tonight Sarina requested pasta with my favorite peanut sauce for dinner while the other kids had "clean" noodles.  Here's the recipe from my sorority sister's fantastic blog Cook With What You Have.  http://cookwithwhatyouhave.wordpress.com/2011/01/25/peanut-sauce/  She's amazing.  Enjoy!

Swirling Chaos

Seriously, sometimes I wonder why I ever attempt to go to public events alone with all the kids.  For some reason now there's always one kid who doesn't want to participate and it sucks the life out of me.  I can't be the cheerleader all the time every day, it's tiring!  I need to figure out how to navigate those waters without needing a nap after a 2 hour outing.  Today's (Actually Sunday since I rarely complete a whole task in one day) example was going to a movie for a birthday party.  Rio looked like a movie all kids would enjoy.  Of course we arrived after the movie had started, I tried to juggle 5 drinks and bags of popcorn in the pitch dark while counting heads- it must be what I do even in my sleep 1 - 2 - 3 - 4,  1 - 2 - 3 - 4.  A little tricky while spilling "roopie dear" all over myself and kids darting all over the place.  Forget trying to duck for the poor people sitting behind me.  I couldn't figure out how to get the movie seat down with my hands full and the kids sitting and me to stop spilling, let alone provide a clear view for the poor family behind us.  Oh boy.  Then when we were settled about 3/4 of the way through Elsa started pacing the line, bumping the chairs of the poor people in front of us.  The grand finale was the trip to the potties at the end.  Yay.

I've been painfully slowly plugging away at organizing and making changes to the house.  My pantry has been driving me nuts, so I pulled everything out of it at 9:30 at night when Mark was at work and I finally had all the kids in bed.  Brace yourself for the before picture- picture rushing home from grocery store, costco, etc and unloading either right at lunch time or right at dinner time.  That is most of the reason why it looks the way it does in the before picture.  I'm humble here, it's NOT pretty.

Now it's empty.

But it had to go somewhere, temporarily of course.

I filled two large kitchen garbage bags and a lot of recycle.  While it's not pretty (I didn't buy all matching containers- maybe one day) at least it's orderly until the magical day when I can make it into the butler's pantry I've always envisioned there).

We also returned our dark, dark leather 4 piece matchy matchy furniture set from costco- because of one tiny little rip in the seat of a cushion that couldn't be repaired.  For a 3 piece WHITE leather set from Macy's (with the FULL 7 year warranty plan).  First I cringed because when I checked on what was going to happen to the old stuff (which was perfectly usable- all the other pieces were mint) they said they were going to be "field destroyed."  I feel SO WASTEFUL, but needed something lighter in my dark room.  How UN environmentally friendly is that?!  On the other hand, the new furniture is so pretty and bright.  And the 7 year warranty will get us to Elsa at 9 almost 10.  We should be good to go then.  Right?

I know I need a real coffee table, when I find one for under $50- I'll get it.  For now it feels brighter and better.

Since I usually end with a recipe, I'll end with the fajita recipe I made on Sunday night- the night I wrote this blog.  Super yummy but best on the griddle when camping with good friends.

Chicken (or whatever meat you want) Fajitas magic ingredient:

You'll have to crane your neck- for some reason the picture refused to orient the way I wanted it to.  This is the seasoning I use- it's in the Mexican section of most grocery stores.  It's the yummiest and the cheapest (score since I'm cheap)

I use 1/2 this packet for about 12 chicken breast tenderloins (I buy the Kirkland frozen kind so they aren't so floppy and gross when I handle them.  I hate raw chicken)

So, here's the recipe:

12 chicken breast tenderloins
1/2 seasoning packet pictured above
2 T lime juice
1/3 cup canola oil

Mix together and marinate as long as you like.  8-10 hours is ok- overnight better- or dump it all together and freeze then pull out on the day when camping that you want to make it:)

Slice one or two onions- I like a lot of onions.

Slice 2-4 bell peppers- I use red, orange, and yellow because green ones are gross to burp.  Sorry if that wasn't a ladylike comment.  Just not a fan of green peppers.

Heat a large pan on high (or griddle when camping if you're lucky).

Add the juice from the marinated chicken (I know most recipes tell you not to use it but I do), cook the onion until as done as you like them - I like them really cooked down.  Add chicken, when done add peppers and cook until just starting to get soft.

I serve them on flour tortillas warmed over the flame of our stove top, topped with chevre, feta, or whatever cheese sounds good and green onions.

Sometimes I'll add a side of brown rice cooked in the rice cooker with a tablespoon of butter, a tomato bouillon cube (another Mexican aisle score), and small can of green chilies after that's cooked I'll stir in a rinsed and drained can of black beans.  Throw in some fresh chopped cilantro and it's even better.

Enjoy.

PS Hi honey (he caught me working on the blog I was too embarrassed to tell him about...)  xo

PPS Thanks Robin for asking for a new post- it made me feel good to know that it's being read and yes you should write one too.  You have some crazy stuff going on in your house and accomplish some wonderful meals and creations (crafty and handy and all around amazing).

And now this blabber mouth is done.

Oh boy

I
am
out
numbered

At this stage in the game, I now know for certain that I play MUCH better man-to-man than zone.  It's a painful realization.

The end.